Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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