If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
