so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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