we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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