Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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