i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
