I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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