Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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