i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
