The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize