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Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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