Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
