Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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