I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize