well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I enjoy the company of your penis
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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