that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
