my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize