Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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