I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
