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If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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