drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
