I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
