So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
