You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
