after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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