Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
