i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.