I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
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The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.