tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
