everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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