It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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