i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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