then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
