Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
