oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
