I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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