She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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