We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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