i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
