she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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