he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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