bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
