I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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