I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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