just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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