I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
