hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
