you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
