ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
