You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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