I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This show inspires me to have sex in space
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
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