come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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