We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize