last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he thought i was a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize