Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
