I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
