hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize