i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
