don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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