I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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