You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
