no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
